Wow Annie...what an insightful, eye-opening experiment. Perhaps his interpretation is a bit like the iceberg theory: you're only seeing the surface, a symptom of what's beneath. Without awareness and willingness to look under our figurative hoods, our lives run on default status. Your husband's status sounds negative, but perhaps there's a reason for this. Not an excuse, mind you. But an explanation, that with compassion, can be understood.